The Soft Goal Epidemic

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Why "Getting in Shape" Will Never Get You in Shape

My friend Tom has been "getting in shape" for four years.

Every January, he announces his fitness goals. "This is the year I really get serious about my health," he says. He buys new workout clothes, downloads fitness apps, and starts strong for about three weeks.

By March, he had returned to his old habits. By December, he's making the same resolution again.

Tom's problem isn't a lack of motivation or willpower. It's his goal.

"Getting in shape" isn't a goal. It's a wish dressed up as ambition.

Here's what I've learned after watching dozens of people like Tom: soft goals create soft people. Hard goals create hard people.

Tom's goal was designed for comfort, not achievement. "Getting in shape" could mean anything. No specific target. No real deadline. No way to definitively succeed or fail. It was built with escape hatches that made quitting easy and comfortable.

Compare that to my friend Lisa, who said: "I will deadlift 200 pounds by December 31st."

No wiggle room. No excuses. You either hit 200 pounds or you don't.

Tom spent four years making minimal progress because his goal demanded minimal commitment. Lisa transformed her entire physique in eight months because her goal required her to become someone capable of deadlifting 200 pounds.

The goal didn't just change her body—it changed her character.

I learned this lesson the hard way during my own soft goal phase. For years, I had vague aspirations: "Build a successful business," "Improve my writing," "Get financially secure."

I made minimal progress because these goals demanded minimal effort. There was no urgency, no clear finish line, no real accountability.

Everything changed when I started setting goals that scared me slightly. Instead of "improve my writing," I committed to "publish 100 articles in 12 months." Instead of "build a successful business," I set "generate $50,000 in revenue by December 31st."

These goals were uncomfortable. They required me to become someone I'd never been before—someone disciplined, consistent, and resilient.

The goals didn't just change my results; they changed my life. They changed my identity.

Here's what soft goals sound like: "I want to exercise more." "I should save some money." "I need to be more productive." Notice the escape hatches built into every phrase. "More" compared to what? "Some" money—how much exactly? "Should" and "need to" aren't commitments, they're wishes.

Hard goals sound different: "I will run a 10K in under 50 minutes by June 15th." "I will save $10,000 in 12 months." "I will write 500 words every weekday for six months." No ambiguity. No flexibility. You either achieve it completely or you fail completely.

The magic isn't just in achieving the goal—it's in becoming the person capable of achieving it.

When you commit to deadlifting 200 pounds, you have to develop discipline to train consistently. You need resilience to push through plateaus. You must build planning skills to balance training with life. You develop mental toughness to continue when motivation disappears.

The goal forces character development that soft goals can't.

I test every goal now with one question: Does this make me slightly uncomfortable? If I'm confident I can achieve it, it's too soft. If it doesn't require me to develop new capabilities, it's not worth pursuing.

Comfortable goals create comfortable people. Uncomfortable goals create extraordinary people.

The formula for hard goals is simple: specific numbers, concrete deadlines, binary outcomes, and character requirements. The goal should require you to become someone you've never been before.

Here's my challenge: pick one area where you've been setting soft goals. Write down a specific, time-bound target that scares you slightly. Share it with someone who will check your progress.

Stop setting goals you're confident you can hit. Start setting goals that force you to become who you need to be.

Tom is still "getting in shape." Lisa just deadlifted 220 pounds.

Which story do you want to write?

My book Do the Hard Things First is your manual for building identity through action, especially when fear wants to keep you small.

Learn more at scottallanbooks.com.

$5.00 Scott Allan Hi, I'm Scott Allan... Thank You for Your Support! Your encouragement and support mean the world to me. If you’ve found... Read more Send a tip

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