How to Stop Avoiding the Things You Know You Need to Do

How to Stop Avoiding the Things You Know You Need to Do

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You already know what you need to do.

That's the frustrating part. It's not a mystery. The task is sitting right there—on your to-do list, in the back of your mind, keeping you up at night.

You know you need to make that call. Send that email. Have that conversation. Start that project. Schedule that appointment.

And yet, you don't.

Day after day, you walk past it. You work around it. You tell yourself "tomorrow" or "when I have more time" or "when I feel ready."

But tomorrow comes and you still don't do it. You never feel ready. And the thing you're avoiding grows heavier with each passing day.

Here's what's actually happening: You're not struggling with productivity. You're struggling with avoidance.

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Why We Avoid What We Know We Need to Do

The things we avoid most are rarely the hardest tasks in terms of effort. Sending an email takes two minutes. Making a phone call takes five. Having a conversation might take fifteen.

What makes them "hard" isn't the time or energy required. It's the discomfort they represent.

We avoid things because:

They might lead to rejection. Asking for something means someone might say no.

They might lead to conflict. Addressing a problem means someone might push back.

They might reveal we're not good enough. Starting the project means we might fail.

They force us to face reality. Checking the bank account means seeing numbers we don't want to see.

So we don't avoid because we're lazy. We avoid because avoidance provides temporary relief from discomfort. The problem is: that relief comes with a cost.

The cost is guilt. Anxiety. Lost opportunities. Damaged relationships. And the growing weight of everything we're not doing.

The H.A.R.D. Framework for Ending Avoidance

Here's a simple system to stop avoiding and start doing:

H — Highlight the Hard Thing

Right now, ask yourself: What's the ONE thing I've been avoiding that would move my life forward?

Don't list five things. Don't make it complicated. Just name the single task or action that's been sitting undone the longest—the one that makes your stomach tighten a little when you think about it.

That's your hard thing.

Write it down. Make it specific. Not "deal with finances" but "open the credit card statement and look at the balance." Not "fix the relationship" but "text Sarah and ask if we can talk."

A — Approach It Immediately

Here's where most people fail. They identify the hard thing and then... wait.

They wait for motivation. For the right moment. For courage to arrive.

It doesn't work that way. Action creates motivation, not the other way around.

The rule: Start within 10 minutes of identifying the hard thing. Not 10 hours. Not tomorrow. Ten minutes.

You don't have to finish it. You just have to start it. Open the document. Dial the number. Write the first sentence.

​Starting breaks the avoidance pattern. Once you've started, continuing is easier than stopping.

R — Rewire with Reps

One act of courage is powerful. But one act doesn't change your identity. Repetition does.

If you've been an avoider for years, you won't become someone who does hard things first by doing it once. You become that person by doing it repeatedly until it becomes who you are.

Commit to highlighting and approaching one hard thing every single day. Not huge things—just the thing you're most tempted to avoid that day.

After 30 days, you won't have to force yourself anymore. Doing hard things first will feel normal.

D — Delay the Reward

Your brain wants to check your phone. Scroll social media. Watch something. Eat something. Do something easy and pleasurable.

Not until the hard thing is done.

This isn't about punishment. It's about training your brain to associate hard things with reward, not easy things with escape.

Complete the hard thing first. Then enjoy the reward. This order matters.

The Avoidance Inventory

Take five minutes right now. List everything you've been avoiding:

Tasks I've been putting off:

1. ​
2. ​
3. ​

Conversations I've been postponing:

1. ​
2. ​

Decisions I've been delaying:

1. ​
2. ​

Appointments/calls I haven't made:

1. ​
2. ​

Now circle the ONE that's been there longest. That's your hard thing for today.

Your Next Step

You have two choices right now:

Choice 1: Close this article and continue avoiding. The thing will still be there tomorrow, only heavier.

Choice 2: Take 10 minutes and do the thing. Or at least start it.

The discomfort of doing it lasts minutes. The weight of avoiding it lasts indefinitely.

Stop avoiding. Start doing. The hard things won't do themselves.

Go Deeper

If avoidance has become a pattern in your life, I wrote an entire book on breaking it. Do the Hard Things First gives you the complete system for overcoming procrastination and building the habit of doing difficult work—even when you don't feel like it.

→ Get the book at scottallanbooks.com​

What's the one thing you've been avoiding? Hit reply and tell me. Sometimes just naming it out loud is the first step to doing it.

Next week: Why you keep putting off your most important tasks—and the real reason it's not laziness.

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